1.A Complicated Song
作詞：Scott Alspach, Lauren Christy, Graham Edwards, Avril Ramona
Lavigne, Weird Al Yankovic
Uh huh, extra cheese
Uh huh, uh huh, save a piece for me
Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame no one came
Just us eatin' all alone
You said, 'Take the pizza home
No sense lettin' all this go to waste'
So then I faced
Pizza all day and every day
This cheese 'round the clock
Is gettin' me blocked
And I sure don't care for irregularity
Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated？
'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated？
No, no, no
I was feelin' pretty down
Till my girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in every way
I gotta say
In fact I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me
Who would have guessed, her family crest
I'd suddenly spy tattooed on her thigh
And son of a gun
It's just like the one on me
Tell me
How was I supposed to know we were both related？
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have
dated
What to do now？ Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated？
No, no, no
(No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no)
I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I'd unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide
Said not to stand
But that's a demand that I couldn't meet
I got on my feet and stood up instead
And knocked off my head, you see
Tell me
Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated？
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it
Such a drag, now can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore
I can't belch or yodel anymore
Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated
Oh no
Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated？
(Yeah, yeah)
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer, can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeze
But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
No, no, no
2.Angry White Boy Polka
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a %$@＆ if I cut my arm bleeding
This is my last resort
'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's all right, nothing is fine
I'm running and a-crying
Wake up (Wake up)
Grab a brush and put a little make-up
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
(Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup)
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table？
Here you go create another fable
You wanted to
Grab a brush and put a little makeup
You wanted to
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup
You wanted to
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table？
You wanted to
I don't think you trust
In my self-righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die, die, die
D-d-die die die die die
Hey
I'm gonna get free
I'm gonna get free
I'm gonna get free
Ride into the sun
She never loved me
She never loved me
She never loved me
Why should anyone？
(Come here, come here, come here)
I'll take your photo for ya
(Come here, come here, come here)
Drive you around the corner
(Come here, come here, come here)
You know you really oughta
(Come here, come here, come here)
Move out to California
Do what I want 'cause I can
If I don't because I wanna
Be ignored by the stiff and the bored
Because I'm gonna
Hate to say I told you so, all right
Do believe I told you so
Now it's all out and you knew
'Cause I wanted to
Fell in love with a girl
I fell in love at once and almost completely
She's in love with the world
But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
Can't think of anything to do
Yeah, my left brain knows that all love is fleeting
She's just looking for something new
Yeah, I said it once before but it bears repeating, now
Last night, she said
'Oh baby, don't you feel so down
When you turn me off
When I feel left out'
So I (what'd you do？)
Well, I turned around (right around)
'Oh, baby, gonna be alright'
It was a great big lie (big old lie)
'Cause I left that night
Yeah
Ooh ah ah ah ah
Ooh ah ah ah ah
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate and let it flow into me
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Get up
Come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me
We're the renegades of funk
We're the renegades of funk
We're the renegades of funk
We're the renegades of funk
This time I'm 'a let it all come out
This time I'm 'a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way
It's my way
My way or the highway
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way
It's my way
Or the highway
But I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you
Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy
Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie
Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy
Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie
We are, we are
The youth of the nation
We are, we are
The youth of the nation
We are, we are
The youth of the nation
We are the youth of the nation Hey
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please
Please, please stand up
Slim Shady won't you please stand up？
(Stand up Shady)(Stand up)
(Stand up Shady)(Stand up)
(Stand up Shady)
Shady, won't you please stand up？
Hey
3.Bob
作詞：Alfred Matthew Yankovic
I, man, am regal
A German am I
Never odd or even
If I had a hi-fi
Madam, I'm Adam
Too hot to hoot
No lemons, no melon
Too bad I hid a boot
Lisa Bonnet ate no basil
Warsaw was raw
Was it a car or a cat I saw？
Rise to vote, Sir
Do geese see God？
Do nine men interpret？
'Nine men', I nod
Rats live on no evil star
Won't lovers revolt now？
Race fast, safe car
Pa's a sap
Ma is as selfless as I am
May a moody baby doom a yam？
Ah, Satan sees Natasha
No devil lived on
Lonely Tylenol
Not a banana baton
No X in Nixon
O, stone, be not so
O Geronimo, no minor ego
'Naomi', I moan
A Toyota's a Toyota
A dog, a panic in a pagoda
Oh, no! Don ho
Nurse, I spy gypsies run
Senile felines
Now I see bees I won
UFO tofu
We panic in a pew
Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo
God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog
4.Couch Potato
Look
If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it？
Or just let it slip？
Yo
Remote is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstones on the TV already
Wilma 'n' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin'
And I'm HD-ready
So I flip
Garbage is all I'm getting
There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth
Always says something foul
They're dyin', wow
Wannabes are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel
Shows based on reality
Oh, the humanity!
Oh, Ozzy's family
Sho' loves profanity
Whoa, the insanity
Oh, dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity？
No, they live happily
Yo
Plus 'Da Ali G Show'
And 'Celebrity Mole'
Oh, and there's Anna Nicole
Well, she's scaring me
'Look ma, no cavities'
Oh, it's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something
'You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV' They told me, they'd
scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo)
'You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV'
They told me, cajoled me, 'Turn off those music videos' (no)
I'm gonna watch C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)
My butt is aching
As I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King
To '24' to 'Law And Order'
The Weather Channel's boring like '60 Minutes''s ancient
reporters
Next up on 'E! True Hollywood Story'
The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey
Shows for next fall, they've already been namin'
'CSI： Boise' and 'Touched By An Uncle' both sound pretty lame
'n'
So does 'Everybody Tolerates Raymond'
And 'King of Queens' jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it
I'll move right on to '8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged
Daughter'
Then I bet
I watch 'The Bachelorette'
Followed by 'Welcome Back, Kotter'
And 'The Muppet Show' where they go 'Mahna Mahna'
'You're gonna lose your mind watching TV'
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Disney Channel and A＆E and Lifetime (yo)
'You're gonna lose your mind watching TV'
They told me, cajoled me
But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)
I'm looking at C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're Gonna)
Never missed 'Melrose Place' or 'Lost In Space'
I've seen each 'Amazing Race' and 'Without A Trace'
But I only watched 'Will And Grace' one time one day
Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay
Oh, and 'Fear Factor' I watched maybe a half hour
After that, felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambitions
'Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians'
Like to tie up those programming planners
Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just
like 'Scanners'
Leech-covered grub-eatin' fools on 'Survivor'
Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob
Schneider
And there's 'Gilligan' and 'SpongeBob', plus there's 'MacGyver'
And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a
Special all Pig-Latin episode of 'Drew Carey'
Wanna turn on 'E.T.' 'cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week
A 30 second spot
Then we come back to 'Are You Hot？'
I was planning on recording 'The Sopranos'
I forgot
I love shows with or without a plot
I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got
One brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot
'You're gonna lose your mind watching TV'
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo)
'You're gonna lose your mind watching TV'
They told me, cajoled me, 'Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show'
(no)
I got it on C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)
You can watch anything you want to, man
5.Hardware Store
Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, 'Hey, you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station？ Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws'
Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open the door？
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line
Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws？ Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine
Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically
And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open the door？
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
Would you look at all that stuff ...
They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats,
electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper
cables
Hooks and tacks, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and
ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke
detectors
Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open the door？
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
6.Ode To A Superhero
Peter Parker was pitiful
Couldn't have been any shyer
Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him
Even if his hair was on fire
But then one day he went to that science lab
That mutated spider came down
Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls
And he's swingin' all over town
La li la, li de da
La la, li le la da dum
Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause we're all in the mood for a hero now
And there's evil doers to fight
Now Harry the rich kid's a friend of his
Who horns in on Mary Jane
But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys
Who can kiss upside down in the rain
'With great power comes great responsibility'
That's the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben
If you missed it, don't worry, they'll say the line
Again and again and again
Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di di da da dom
Now Norman's a billionare scientist
Who never had time for his son
But then something went screw and before you knew he
Was trying to kill everyone
And he's ridin' around on that glider thing
And he's throwin' that weird pumpkin bomb
Yes, he's wearin' that dumb Power Rangers mask
But he's scarier without it on
Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause you're brave and you're strong and so limber now
But where'd you come up with those tights？
It's a pretty sad day at the funeral
Norman Osborn has bitten the dust
And I heard Harry's said he wants Spider-Man dead
Aw, but his buddy Pete he can trust
Oh, and M.J. is all how for Peter now
Aw, but Peter, he just shuts her down
Mary Jane, don't you cry, you can give it a try
Again when the sequal comes 'round
Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di di da da dum
Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause we all sure could use us a hero now
And we think that you'll do all right
7.Party at the Leper Colony
作詞：Alfred Matthew Yankovic
Finger food and an ice cold cake
It won't cost you an arm and a leg
Dance all night to a rotten band
Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand
Well, Saturday night it's the place to be
Everybody cut footloose with me
At the party at the Leper colony
Oh, there's a party at the Leper colony, hey
Met a little lady, so pretty and young
She was quite a talker till the cat got her tongue
She oozed up beside me, I turned on my charm
Ooh, pretty soon, she was completely disarmed
I said, 'Girl, now don't fall to pieces on me'
But she cried her eyes out literally
At the party at the Leper colony
Oh, there's a party at the Leper colony, hey, hey
Hey now, buddy, don't you give me no lip
Sorry, I was using your head for dip
There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who
Wait a minute, it looks like Stu
Well, hold the phone now, what do I see？
Another pretty mama got her eye on me
At the party at the Leper colony
Oh, there's a party at the Leper colony
Oh, there's a party at the Leper colony
(Party at the Leper colony)
There's a party at the Leper colony
(Party at the Leper colony)
Oh, there's a party at the Leper colony
Yeah, party at the Leper colony
Well, there's a party at the Leper colony
(Party at the Leper colony)
Hey!
8.Trash Day
It's rotten
So rotten here
So rotten
Oh
It was like, the last day before trash day
My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay
Even though the garbage I knew would reek
(You know) Thought that I could leave it for one more week
Then, um, I'm takin'
Birthday cake 'n'
(Oh) Chili and greasy old bacon
Throw it all on top of the mess I been makin'
Wife's so mad, she starts to shakin'
Leaky bag, 'n' now that girl is gaggin'
She's naggin'
'I need you to get that stuff off the kitchen floor'
'Is that too much to ask for？'
But I see no reason why
Can't let a few more weeks go by
And now garbage is piled high
And buddy, you should see the flies
I said ...
There's somethin' rotten here (say what？)
You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Oh, boy there's a lot in here (a lot)
And every day it grows (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
Look at all this garbage I keep generatin'
(Come on) I sit around all day and watch it biodegradin'
Bet there's a hundred health codes that I'm violatin'
Even my dog passed out and needed resuscitatin'
You won't believe it, take a whiff of that aroma
Sure to put you in a coma
It's so messy, can't find my toenail clippers
It so bad the roaches wearin' slippers
Warm, sweaty clothes piled up in this joint
Stand up by themselves at this point
It's so filthy, now baby, I can't lie
I wipe my feet before I go outside
I wonder what crawled in there and died
(You know) Walkin' 'round barefoot, I'd be terrified
But it gives me stuff to talk about with my friends
Like, 'Hey, I think them rats gettin' big!'
Oh
There's somethin' rotten here (say what？)
You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Oh, look what we got in here (now what？)
Let's watch it decompose (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
With a little bit a ＊＊＊, and a little bit a ＊＊＊
Make me wanna throw up
It makes ya wanna ＊＊＊, just makes ya wanna ＊＊＊
Oh
Some Lysol, some Comet
I got a mop and it's got your name on it
(What？) I'm just kiddin', doggone it
(Oh) Unless you gonna do it
Careful not to breathe the fumes
Check it, garbage piles are goin' all the way to the bathroom
Turn into toxic waste sometime this afternoon
Better get a Hazmat suit and a push broom
Oh
There's somethin' rotten here (say what？)
You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Oh, it's gone to pot in here (to pot)
Bring out the firehose (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
With a little bit a ＊＊＊, and a little bit a ＊＊＊
Make me wanna throw up
Give a little bit a ＊＊＊, and a tiny bit a ＊＊＊
Make ya wanna throw up
Mix a little bit a ＊＊＊ with a molecule a ＊＊＊
Make me wanna throw up
Oh
9.Wanna B Ur Lovr
作詞：Alfred Matthew Yankovic
I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out？
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an Ectomorph, no doubt
Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostrils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl
So I could see you twice
Girl, you smell like fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear
I'll bet you're magically delicious
Like a bowl of lucky charms
You'd look like Venus De Milo
If I just cut off your arms
What I'm trying to say is
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Do you believe in love at first sight
Or should I walk by again？
My love for you'd like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in
Stop, drop and roll now
'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit
Makes a lot of noise in the drier
You're absolutely perfect
Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer
Than the water in my toilet
Say, has anyone ever told you
You've got Yugoslavian hands？
No, of course not, that would be stupid
Just forget I ever brought it up
The point I'm trying to make is
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
I wanna be your Krakatoa
Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda
And your heat-seeking missile too
I wanna be your beef burrito
Am I making this perfectly clear？
I wanna be your love torpedo
Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here？
I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt？
You can tell me truthfully
Am I a steaming hunk of love now, or what？
There just aren't enough o's in smooth
To describe how smooth I am
Maybe you've seen my picture
It's in the dictionary under 'Kablaam!'
My lips are registered weapons
Can I invade your personal space？
You must have fallen from Heaven
That would explain how you messed up your face
Well, how'd you get through security？
'Cause, baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now
So you can meet my Mom
Because I
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love
Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy
Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love
...
10.Why Does This Always Happen To Me？
I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special
report
About dsome devistating earthquake in Peru
There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were
buried alive
On the Richter scale it measured 8.2
And I said, 'God, please answer me one question？'
'Why'd they have to interrupt 'The Simpsons' just for this？'
What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything
And now I'll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the
show I missed
Why does this always happen？
Why does this always happen to me？
Why does this always happen？
(Why) Why does this always happen to me？
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
I was driving down the highway when all the traffic slowed to a
crawl
There was a twelve-car pile-up, everybody dead
And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere
As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head
And I thought - Poor Rob, I just had lunch with him
Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money - what a jerk
Well, there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again
Plus now, on top of everything else, it looks like I'm gonna be
late to work
Why does this always happen？
Why does this always happen to me？
Why does this always happen？
(Why) Why does this always happen to me？
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba
Oh, the other day, my boss said we were running low on toner
And he told me I should buy another case
Well, I told him I was busy, but he still just kept on asking
So, I turned around and stabbed him in the face (right in the
face)
Oh, and wouldn't you know it, my knife got stuck
I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then
But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little
And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again
(quite as sharp again)
Oh, tell me
Why does this always happen？
Why does this always happen to me？
Why does this always happen？
Why does this always happen to me？
Why does this always happen to me？
(Why does this always happen to me？)
Why does this always happen to me？
(Why does this always happen to me？)
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
11.eBay
Yeah
A used ... pink bathrobe
A rare ... mint snowglobe
A Smurf ... TV tray
I bought on eBay
My house ... is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay
Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay
I'll buy ... your knick-knack
Just check ... my feedback
'A++!' they all say
They love me on eBay
Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)
(From some guy) I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay
I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa, what erev'll please
As long as I've got the dough
I'll buy ... your tchotchkes
Sell me ... your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...)
I'm highest bidder now
(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)
(From that worldwide garage sale) (Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)
(Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)
Oh yeah ... (I bought it on eBay)
Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case on vintage tube socks)
Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre)
(Found it on eBay)
Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster)
(Pez dispensers and a toaster)
(Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away)
(I'll buy on eBay)
What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y
12.Genious In France
I'm not the brightest crayon in the box
Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks
I barely even know how to put on my own pants
But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in
France
Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka
I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese
I got a negative number on my SATs
I'm not good looking and I don't know how to dance
But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely
considered to be
A genius in France, a genius in France, a genius in France
People say I'm a geek, a moronic little freak
An annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique
If I was any dumber, they'd have to water me twice a week
But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek
They dig my mystique, they say I'm c'est magnifique
When I'm in Par-ee, I'm the chic-est of the chic
They love my body odor and my bad toupee
They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret
And when I'm sipping on a Perrier
In some cafe town in St. Tropez
It's hard to keep the fans at bay
They say, 'Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait'
'Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait'
Hemenene humenene
himenene homenene
Poodle... poodle...
Folks in my hometown think I'm a fool
Got too much chlorine in my gene pool
A few peas short of a casserole
A few buttons missing on my remote control
A few fries short of a happy meal
I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the
heel
Instructions on the heel
Instructions on the heel
But when I'm in Provence, I get free croissants
Yeah, I'm the guy every French lady wants
And if you ask 'em why, you're bound to get this response
(He's a genius in France! Genius in France!)
That's right
(He's a genius in France, genius in France)
You know it
(He's a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France)
I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree
But the folks in France, they don't seem to agree
They say, 'Bonjour, Monsieur would you take ze picture with me？'
I say, 'Oui, oui'
That's right, I say, 'Oui, oui'
'Oui, oui'
He says, 'Oui, oui'
I'm dumber than a box of hair
But those Frenchies don't seem to care
Don't know why, mon frere
But they love me there
I'm a genius in France
Yeah, I'm a genius in France
Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Cannes
Gonna make those Frenchies scream
'You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!'
Like a fine Renoir (waa), I've got that je me c'est quoi (quoi!)
Like a fine Renoir (ooh la la), I've got that je me c'est ...
Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo
Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo
Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Bow
I'm a taco short of a combo plate
But by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I'm great
Oh, the men all faint and the women scream
They like me more than heavy cream
When I'm in Versailles, I'm a popular guy
My oh my, I'm as French as apple pie (apple pie)
They think I'm awful witty, a riot and a half
When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh(haw haw haw haw haw)
And laugh (haw haw haw haw haw haw)
People in France have lots of attitude
They're snotty and rude, they like disgusting food
But when they see me, they just come unglued
They think that I am one happening dude
Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm
I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball
But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle
Entre nous, it's very true
The room temperature's higher than my IQ
But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu
How did this happen; I don't have a clue
Well, I'm not the quickest tractor on the farm
I don't have any skills or grace or charm
And most people look at me like I'm all covered with ants
But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in
France
And I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back
I'm never never never never goin' back home again
I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket
Gonna tell the folks back here where they can stick it
'Cause I'm never goin' back
I'm never goin' back
I'm never goin' back
The girls back home never gave me a chance
But I sho' 'nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance
And I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstance
But 'Great Googily Moogily', I'm a genius in France
Every Frenchie that I meet
Just can't wait to kiss my feet
Get in line, pucker up! Tout Suite!
Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy
I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour
I'm stuffed with pastries and drunk with power
Now they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel Tower
A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left
A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left
I'm the biggest dork there is alive
My mom picked out my clothes for me 'till I was 35
And I forgot to mention
I'm not even welcome at the Star Trek convention
But the Frenchies think
That my poop don't stink
I'm a genius in France
Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon？
Merci beaucoup
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