1.Cable Tv
I used to think my life was so empty
I used to think life was passin' me by
Well, i was just about ready
To curl up and die
But then one day i got a visit
From the cable company
Well, they hooked me up and plugged me right in
And now i got cable tv
And now i get to watch the stock report in korean
Midget wrestling on channel three
It costs me fifty bucks a month just to see 'em
Yeah, but that's all right with me
I got cable tv (cable tv)
Cable tv (cable tv)
Oh, eighty-three channels of ecstasy
I love my cable tv, yeah
I love my cable tv
I got the siamese faith healer's network
The news and weather from peru
I got celebrity hockey
The racketball channel too
Bugs bunny direct from atlanta
Mr. wizard is on at five
I got a satellite dish on the trunk of my car
So i can watch mtv while i drive
I'm talkin' 'bout real quality programs
The kind you just can't get for free
Now i never wanna leave my apartment
'cause there's just so much for me to see
On my cable tv (cable tv)
Cable tv(cable tv)
Well, if you need to find me
You know where i'll be
Watchin' my cable tv, yeah
Watchin' my cable tv
'cause i love my cable tv, yeah
I love my cable tv
My friends are gettin' kinda worried
They think i'm turning into some kinda freak
Oh, but they're just jealous 'cause i've seen porky's
Twenty-seven times this week
On my cable tv (cable tv)
Cable tv (cable tv)
Yeah, the greatest thing that's ever happened to me
I love my cable tv, yeah
I love my cable tv
Well, i got to have cable tv, yeah
I need my cable tv
Well, i love, i love my cable tv (tv)
Got to have cable tv (tv)
Well, i got to have my cable tv, yeah (tv)
Can't live without my cable tv
Well, i said, got to have some cable tv (tv)
I've got to have my cable tv
I said cable tv, yeah (tv)
Got to have cable tv
2.Dare To Be Stupid
Put down your chainsaw and listen to me
It's time for us to join in the fight
It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys
It's time to let the bedbugs bite
You better put all your eggs in one basket
You better count your chickens before they hatch
You better sell some wine before it's／its time
You better find yourself an itch to scratch
You better squeeze all the charmin you can while mr. wimpole's
not around
Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan
Talk with your mouth full
Bite the hand that feeds you
Bite on more than you chew
What can you do
Dare to be stupid
Take some wooden nickles
Look for mr. goodbar
Get your mojo working now
I'll show you how
You can dare to be stupid
You can turn the other cheek
You can just give up the ship
You can eat a bunch of sushi and forget to leave a tip
Dare to be stupid
Come on and dare to be stupid
It's so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
We're all waiting for you
Let's go
It's time to make a mountain out of a molehill
So can i have a volunteer
There's no more time for crying over spilled milk
Now it's time for crying in your beer
Settle down, raise a family, join the pta
Buy some sensible shoes and a chevyrolet
And party 'till you're broke and they drive you away
It's ok, you can dare to be stupid
It's like spitting on a fish
It's like barking up a tree
It's like i said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free
Dare to be stupid (yes)
Why don't you dare to be stupid
It's so easy to do
Dare to be stupid
We're all waiting for you
Dare to be stupid
Burn your candle at both ends
Look a gift horse in the mouth
Mashed potatoes can be your friends
You can be a coffee achiever
You can sit around the house and watch leave it to beaver
The future's up to you
So what you gonna do
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
What did i say
Dare to be stupid
Tell me, what did i say
Dare to be stupid
It's alright
Dare to be stupid
We can be stupid all night
Dare to be stupid
Come on, join the crowd
Dare to be stupid
Shout it out loud
Dare to be stupid
I can't hear you
Dare to be stupid
Ok, i can hear you now
Dare to be stupid
Let's go, dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
Dare to be stupid
3.George Of The Jungle
George, george, george of the jungle
Strong as he can be
Ahhh
Watch out for that tree
George, george, george of the jungle
Lives a life that's free
Ahhh
Watch out for that tree
When he gets in scrapes
When he makes his escapes
With the help of his friend
An ape named ape
Then away he'll schlep
On his elephant shep
While fella and ursula
Stay in step with
George, george, george of the jungle
Friend to you and me
Ahhh
Watch out for that tree
Watch out for that (ahhh) (oooh) tree
George, george, george of the jungle
Friend to you and me
4.Girls Just Want To Have Lunch
Some girls like to buy new shoes
And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos
There's only one thing that they all like a bunch
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch
I know how to keep a woman satisfied
When i whip out my diner's card their eyes get so wide
They're always in the mood for something to munch
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have
That's all they really want
Some lunch
Don't ask 'em to dinner or breakfast or brunch
'cause girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch
Girls, they want
Want to have lunch
Girls wanna have
She eats like she got a hole in her neck
And i'm the one that always gets stuck with the check
Can't figure out how come they don't weigh a ton
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have
That's all they really want
Is some lunch
Don't know for certain but i've got a hunch
Those girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch
Girls, they want
Want to have lunch
Girls wanna have
They just want to
They just want to
Girls
They just want to
They just want to
Girls just want to have lunch
Girls
Girls just want to have lunch
They just want to
They just want to
They just want to
They just want to
They just want to
They just want to
5.I Want A New Duck
Woh oh
I want a new duck
One that won't try to bite
One that won't chew a hole in my socks
One that won't quack all night
I want a new duck
One with big webbed feet
One that knows how to wash my car
And keep his room real neat
One that won't raid the ice box
One that'll stay in shape
One that's never gonna try to migrate or escape
Or i'll tie him up with duck tape
I want a new duck
A mallard i think
One that won't make a mess of my house
Or build a nest in the bathroom sink
I want a new duck
One that won't steal my beer
One that won't stick his bill in my mail
One that knows the duck stops here
One that won't drive me crazy waddling all around
One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown
And show me how to get down
How to get down baby
Get it？
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I want a new duck
Not a swan or a goose
Just a drake i can dress real cute
Think i'm gonna name him bruce
I want a new duck
Not a quail or an owl
One that won't molt to much
One that won't smell too fowl
One that won't beg for breadcrumbs
Hangin' around all day
He'd better mind his manners
Better do just what i say
Or he's gonna be duck patte, duck patte, yah, yah
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(lots of quacking sounds)
6.Like A Surgeon
I finally made it through med school
Somehow i made it through
I'm just an intern
I still make a mistake or two
I was last in my class
Barely passsed at the institute
Now i'm trying to avoid, yah i'm trying to avoid
A malpractise suit
Hey, like a surgeon
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Organ transplants are my line
Better give me all your gause nurse
This patient's fading fast
Complications have set in
Don't know how long he'll last
Let me see, that i.v.
Here we go - time to operate
I'll pull his indsides out, pull his insides out
And see what he ate
Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Here's a waiver for you to sign
Woe, woe, woe
It's a fact - i'm a quack
The disgrace of the a.m.a.
'cause my patients die, yah my patients die
Before they can pay
Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Got your kidneys on my mind
Like a surgeon, ooh like a surgeon
When i reach inside
With my scalpel, and my forceps, and retractors
Oh oh, oh oh, woe, oh
Ooh baby, yah
I can hear your heartbeat
For the very last time
7.One More Minute
(constant 'doo wop's in the background throughout the song)
Aahh....
Well i heard that you're leavin' (leavin')
Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)
'cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that i'm not your kind (aahh..)
So i pulled (i pulled) your name out (name out) of my rolodex
(oohh..)
And i tore all your pictures in two
And i burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)
That's right (that's right) you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad (i'm glad) that you found somebody new
'cause i'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you
I guess i might seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
'cause i'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And i have to use the self-service pumps
Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two
'cause i'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you
I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again
Oh, can't you see what i'm tryin' to say, darlin...
I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathroom in grand central station with
my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you
Yes, i'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged
razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you
I'd rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands
And then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till i die
Than spend one more minute with you
8.Slime Creatures From Outer Space
Things just haven't been the same
Since the flying saucer came
Now the aliens are on the loose
Well, we tried to hold 'em back
Tried to ward off their attack
But our atom bombs were just no use
They were ugly, they were mean
Biggest heads i ever seen
They made everybody scream and shout
First they leveled tokyo
Then new york was next to go
Boy i really wish they'd cut it out
They wasted everybody on my block
There goes the neighborhood
They'll zap you with their death ray eyes
And blow you up real good
Run for your lives
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
They're not very nice to the human race
(slime creatures from outer space)
There's more comin' every day
And they just won't go away
Now they're reproducing in the sewers
They got slimy lizard skin
And an evil lookin' grin
And they sure could use some manicures
They got hands all covered with fungus
They got eyes like some kinda bug
I sure hope they don't come in here
I just shampooed the rug
Run for your lives
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
They're really makin' a mess of this place.
(slime creatures)
(slime creatures)
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
They'll rip your head off just for fun
They'll paralyze your mind
They're wearin' out their welcome
I don't think i like their kind
They'll suck your brain out through a straw
You just can't trust those guys
So hide the children, lock the doors
And always watch the skies
Look out, here come the
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
They're an intergalactic disgrace
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
I wish they'd just get outta my face
(slime creatures from outer space)
(slime creatures from outer space)
They're makin' a big fat mess of this place
(slime creatures)
(slime creatures)
Oh, where did they come from？
What do they want from us？
Who do they think they are？
(slime creatures, slime creatures)
Why don't they leave me alone？
(slime creatures, slime creatures.)
They're really getting on my nerves
9.This Is The Life
I eat filet mignon seven times a day
My bathtub's filled with perrier
What can i say
This is the life
I buy a dozen cars when i'm in the mood
I hire somebody to chew my food
I'm an upwardly mobile dude
This is the life
They say that money corrupts you
But i can't really tell
I got the whole world at my feet
And i think it's pretty swell
I got women lined up outside my door
They've been waitin' there since the week before
Who could ask for more
This is the life
You're dead for a real long time
You just can't prevent it
So if money can't buy happiness
I guess i'll have to rent it
Yeah, every day i make the front page news
No time to pay my dues
I got a million pairs of shoes
This is the life
I got a solid gold cadillac
I make a fortune while i sleep
You can tell i'm a living legend
Not some ordinary creep
No way, i'm the boss, the big cheese
Yeah, i got this town on its knobby little knees
And i can do just what i please
This is the life
That's right, i'm the king, number one
I buy monographed kleenex by the ton
I pay the bills, i call the shots
I grease the palms, i buy the yachts
One thing i can guarantee
The best things in life, they sure ain't free
It's such a thrill just to be me
This is the life
Waah, this is the life
10.Yoda
I met him in a swamp down in dagoba
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda
S o d a, soda
I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said 'yoda'
Y o d a, yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Well, i've been around, but i ain't never seen
A guy who looks like a muppet, but he's wrinkled and green
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Well, i'm not dumb, but i can't understand
How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Well, i left home just a week before
And i've never ever been a jedi before
But obi wan, he set me straight, of course
He said, 'go to yoda and he'll show you the force'
Well i'm not the kind that would argue with ben
So it looks like i'm gonna start all over again
With my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
So i used the force
I picked up a box
I lifted some rocks
While i stood on my head
Well, i won't forget what yoda said
He said, 'luke, stay away from the darker side
And if you start to go astray, let the force be your guide'
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
'i know darth vader's really got you annoyed
But remember, if you kill him, then you'll be unemployed'
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Well, i heard my friends really got in a mess
So i'm gonna have to leave yoda, i guess
But i know that i'll be coming back some day
I'll be playing this part 'till i'm old and gray
The long-term contract that i had to sign
Says i'll be making these movies till the end of time
With my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
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