1.Boilerplate Daniel
My mate Nathaniel said Boilerplate Daniel
Was found in the foundry
Abandoned aged two
The workers, they raised him
Away from the bosses
They fed him on filings
And watched as he grew
My mate Nathaniel said Boilerplate Daniel
Was burnt in the foundry
Skin blistered and red
The workers, they saved him
But they were not medics
And so they repaired him
With metal instead
Chorus：
Boilerplate Dan
Boilerplate Dan
He's not a robot he's a man in a can
Boilerplate Dan
Boilerplate Dan
He's not a robot he's a man in a can
My mate Nathaniel said Boilerplate Daniel
Was mute and was deafened
By the foundry's roar
The worker's they tried
To keep him inside
But one day he was spied
Through an open door
Chorus：
Boilerplate Dan
Boilerplate Dan
He's not a robot he's a man in a can
Boilerplate Dan
Boilerplate Dan
He's not a robot he's a man in a can
My mate Nathaniel said the man who saw Daniel
Could not be sure
What he'd stumbled upon
But he had to possess
This wonder of science
This man shaped machine
This automaton
My mate Nathaniel said the man who stole Daniel
Led him down to low water
Where a barge could be found
But poor Daniel was heavy
The jetty collapsed
He fell in the mud
Then he sank
Then he drowned
2.Moon
3.A Traditional Victorian Gentlemens Boasting Song
4.Victorian Grindcore
Children should be seen, not heard!
5.Blood Red
We want it
We take it
It's ancient
We break it
For glory and Empire
We trample the Globe
We drain it
For profit
We leave it
Exhausted
For glory and Empire
We trample the Globe
Savages will die or kneel
Before God and British steel
Our divine mission
Converting heathens
For glory and Empire
We trample the Globe
Enslaving
Deporting
Abusing
Exploiting
For glory and Empire
We trample the Globe
Savages will die or kneel
Before God and British steel
Ignorant bullies
Our arrogant birthright
For glory and Empire
To trample the Globe
If we want it
We'll take it
Strip the world
Naked
For glory and Empire
We trample the Globe
We'll drain it
For profit
Abandon it
Exhausted
For glory and Empire
We trample the Globe
Enslaving
Deporting
Abusing
Exploiting
For glory and Empire
We trample the Globe
Savages will die or kneel
Before God and British steel
Our Empire will never rest
Until the whole wide world is stained...
RED
BLOOD RED
RED
BLOOD RED
RED
BLOOD RED
RED
BLOOD RED
RED
BLOOD RED
RED
BLOOD RED
RED
BLOOD RED
RED
BLOOD RED
6.Etiquette
7.Bedlam
8.Charlie
V1.
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie...
The doctors son was he
Didn't know what to do
When he finished school
So they packed him off
To sea
Charlie Charlie Charlie
A modern tragedy
The navy rum and the
Tropical sun
Has sent him dolally
So get back on the Beagle
Charles and sail far away
The things you said today
Is surely blasphemy!
Men of cloth and science agree：
That's quite enough! BEGONE CHARLIE!
How dare you go around
Telling me
My grandfather's an ape!
V2.
Charlie, no you can't make a
Monkey out of me
This isn't the planet of the apes
Its the nineteeth century!
Charlie Charlie Charlie
Now you stand accused
Of calling Victoria's dad a chimp
And she is not amused!
So get back on the Beagle
Charles and sail far away
The things you said today
Is surely blasphemy!
Men of cloth and science agree：
That's quite enough! BEGONE CHARLIE!
How dare you go around
Telling me
My grandfather's an ape!
V3 - old children's limerick：
Charlie charlie darwin darwin darwin
Charlie charlie darwin NOW WHAT THE 'ELL HAVE YA DONE？
The Origin of the Species the species the species
The Origin of the Species AND THE DESCENT OF MAN!
It contradicts the Bible, the Bible, the Bible
It contradicts the Bible ONE OF YOU IS WRONG!
So get back on the Beagle
Charles and sail far away
The things you said today
Is surely blasphemy!
Men of cloth and science agree：
That's quite enough! BEGONE CHARLIE!
How dare you go around
Telling me
My grandfather's an ape!
V4.
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie...
What happened to you boy？
We thought you'd join the clergy
Not make the Lord annoyed!
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie...
At the age of fifty one
Your family's a laughing stock
Look at what you've done!
So get back on the Beagle
Charles and sail far away
The things you said today
Is surely blasphemy!
Men of cloth and science agree：
That's quite enough! BEGONE CHARLIE!
How dare you go around
Telling me
My grandfather's an ape!
9.Goggles
Most men like their women
Deferential and polite
But we prefer the type of girl
Who looks like she could win a fight
Dainty girls are all well and good
But they can't fix your stuff
A pretty girl's alright for some
But for us it's not enough!
CHORUS
I love a girl in goggles
It's goggles that does it for me
You can keep your girly girly girl
I want a woman who likes getting dirty
A girl who can strip an engine
Glistening with sweat and oil
I love a girl in goggles
In goggles？
In goggles!
I want a girl with looks and charm (？)
And spirits full of wit (？)
If you just want an ornament
Then you, sir, are a tit
Dainty girls are all well and good
But they can't fix your stuff
A pretty girl's alright for some
But for us it's not enough!
(CHORUS)x2
It's time that we as men reject
This view of women folk
And embrace the type that sing and dance
And fight and fuck and smoke
So fuck polite society
And all that that entails
With a bawdy song, messed up hair, and dirty fingernails
It's time that we as men reject
This view of women folk
Embrace the type that sing and dance
And fart and fuck and smoke
So fuck polite society
And all that that entails
A bawdy song!
Messed up hair!
And dirty fingernails!
10.Sewer (Live)
They're moving fathers grave to build a sewer
They're moving it regardless of expense
They're shifting his remains
To put in five inch drains
To irragate some posh blokes residence
Now, in hi lifetime father never was a quitter
And I'm sure he won't be a quitter now
For when the job's complete
He'll own them qasi seats
and he only let them sit when he'll allow
Oh,
Won't their be some blooming constination？
Won't those city chappies rant and rave？
Which is more then they deserve,
to have the bloody nerve
To muck about with a British workman's grave
A workman's grave
All together now!
They're moving fathers grave to bulid a sewer
A sewer!
They're moving it regardless of expense
Have a banana.
They're shifting his remains
To put in five inch drains
To irragate some posh blokes residence
Residence
Now, in his lifetime father never was a quitter
Never!
And I'm sure he won't be a quitter now
God bless your sister
For when the job's complet
He'll own them qasi seats
and he only let them sit when he'll allow
When he allows.
Oh,
Won't their be some blooming constination？
I should say so
Won't those city chappies rant and rave？
Which is more then they deserve,
to have the bloody nerve
To muck about with a British workman's grave
A workman's grave
11.Steph(v)enson
gentlemen who all shared a common surname.
greatest in the English language
surname？
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Which Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Which one are you？
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Robert, George, or Robert Louis,
And if Robert, which one,
'Cause there were two!
father of the modern railway.
trains, built steam engines, built railways in small industrial
sites, and got the national rail network we know today rolling
along.
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Which Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Which one are you？
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Robert, George, or Robert Louis,
And if Robert, which one,
'Cause there were two!
Stephenson--he was also an engineer, and this father and son
team built the Rocket, the first commercial--
steam locomotive.
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Which Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Which one are you？
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Robert, George, or Robert Louis,
And if Robert, which one,
'Cause there were two!
not be confused with the Victorian engineer Robert Stevenson.
Robert Stephenson should not be confused with the Victorian
engineer Robert Stevenson？
lighthouses, but, confusingly, he did also work on steam trains.
matter of spelling.
surnames differently. George and Robert Stephenson spelt it with
a 'ph'--the other Robert spelt it with a 'v'.
Oh, Mr. Vephenson,
Oh, Mr. Vephenson,
Oh, Mr. Vephenson,
Which Mr. Vephenson,
Which one are you？
Oh, Mr. Vephenson,
Oh, Mr. Vephenson,
Robert, George, or Robert Louis,
And if Robert, which one,
'Cause there were two!
The author of 'Jekyll ＆ Hyde' and 'Treasure Island'.
Caine.
course, the problem remains--
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Which Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Which one are you？
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Oh, Mr. Steph(v)enson,
Robert, George, or Robert Louis,
And if Robert, which one,
'Cause there were two!
-There were two!
-I made it four!
-There were two Roberts!
-Four Steph(v)ensons!
-Two!
-Four!
to Billy Connolly.
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