1.The Fairies Came
I met a boy in a bar last night
He smiled and i saw his wiggly tooth
I pulled it out put it under his pillow that night
The fairies came into his room
The fairies came
The fairies came
The fairies came that night
The fairies came into his room
Worked on a barge in ontario
The captain was a slimy f--king drunk
We hit a reef, and it was scary-o
The oil all leaked out, and then we sunk
The fairies came
The fairies came
The fairies came that night
The fairies came and drove us home
I met a girl on the ferry boat
She had wings, and gold dust in her teeth
Then i reached down and felt her magic wand
And i realized that he was just like me
That fairy came
That fairy came
That fairy came that night
That fairy came to be my best friend carl
Walked on a bridge
Walked on a bridge
Oh where's my bridge？
Yeah, yeah, one, two, three, four
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
I got a job at a fast food joint
I sold coke and straws by the pound
My fairy godmother laughed at me
And she kicked my sorry ass right out of town
She kicked my ass
She kicked my ass
She kicked my sorry ass
She kicked my ass right out of town
I met a boy in a bar last night
He smiled and i saw his wiggly tooth
I pulled it out put it under his pillow that night
The fairies came into his room
The fairies came
The fairies came
The fairies came that night
The fairies came into his room
2.Dick's Automotive
One, two, one, two, three, quattro
John was living in ocean beach, california with his girlfriend,
julie, when he decided one day, 'hey, jule, let's move up north.
to northern california where the air is clear and the skies
Lue and they have more traditional family values. what do say
jule？' so they loaded up their car and they moved up north to
the santa cruz mountains near the byantine winery into a one
bedr
Railer behind the bowling alley. two blocks from the
supermarket. one more block to the south
Of dick's automotive
Dick's automotive
Dick's automotive
Dick's automotive
John applied for a job at dick's automotive and dick came to the
door and he said, 'tell me johnny boy. can you rotate the tires
on a '72 subaru？' he said, 'no.' 'well t
Can you change the oil in a '76 pinto？' he said, 'no.' 'well can
you rebuild a holly four-barrelled carburetor on a '69 camaro
with a big 'ol hearse shift rod？' and he s
'um, no.' 'do you have a girlfriend with long, red, curly hair.
creamy, milk-white thighs. big full lips. biceps like henry
rollings？ and can she just scream like a hyena in the s
？' and he said, 'yes.' and dick said, 'boy, then you're hired.'
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
John studied real, real hard. he learned how to rotate the tires
on a '72 subaru. he learned how to change the oil in all the
pinto's. and he learned how to rebuild that holly four-barrelled
car
Or on a '69 camaro. and much, much more than that. he learned
how to make love with his girlfriend, julie like a real man
oughta. and dick gave him his service stripes and he said,
'there's
Ttle old lady and her car's broken down up near the byantine
winery. you gotta help her man. go sheba, go. rrraah, rrraah.'
so he sent him on his way and about that time dick glued back in
Entures, glued back on his toupee, stood in front of the mirror
and said, 'i feel sexy! i wonder what julie's doin' all alone in
that trailer. i bet she's having trouble opening up a can of
Hes right now. i'll bring along my blowtorch just to see if she
needs help.' so he hiked a block down the road to the one
bedroom trailer behind the bowling alley and he knocked on the
door
Julie answered the door and she said, 'oh, hello
Dick. i was just having trouble opening up a can of peaches.
c'mon in.' so he started up the blowtorch (bwooh) and all the
peach juice ran down his veins. and he poured it in the
tupperwar
T julie used to sell in ocean beach. and he said：
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
So he loaded julie into his '57 chevy and he drove her up right
near the winery. into the middle of the forest he took her. and
he tied her up to a tree. and cut half of her top down. and he
sai
Uot;stick out your tongue.' then he put on forty-two and a half
tabs of brown acid that he still had from his woodstock days.
sprickled a little paote on her tongue just for good measure. s
W all kinds of colors. lemon yellow, orange orange, cherry red,
kaleidoscope eyes. the world was on fire. and about that time
there was a mommy deer walking through the forest with a baby
deer.
Ick cut down julie's arm and he poured in some granola and he
mixed it up with stricnine poison and he said, 'oh, c'mere
little deer. i have some food for you. look at julie.' and the
Deer said, 'oh, i better eat it first because it could be
poisonous and my heart is much stronger than yours, child.' but
really the mommy deer was just a glutton and wanted all the f
And the mommy deer stuck her little mommy snout into julie'
S palm and it licked it. mmmm. mmmm. and it said, 'oh, go ahead,
eat some.' but the mommy's heart was much stronger and when the
baby deer stuck her tongue into the palm of julie's han
Licked, it died. flat shooby doo wop down. and the mommy deer
died shortly thereafter. zippity doo wah out on the ground. and
dick cut julie down from the tree and he looked at the dead deer
at
Feet. and he grabbed her around the neck and pushed his tongue
right down her mouth. and he said, 'wow, nature's so bitchin'!'
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive (play it you silly freak!)
'bout that time john was driving back down the road feeling
really good about helping that little old lady out. and he saw
dick's '57 chevy parked on the side of the road he said, 'wow,
he
Be in trouble. i'd better bring along a chainsaw, a blowtorch
and an icepick just to see if he needs help.' then he said,
'whoa, that looks like the afghan sweater that julie's grandm
Tted us last summer in ocean beach. what's julie doing here？'
and he hiked through the forest. and he saw the love of his life
on a dirty brown piece of berber carpet. dick's dentures on th
Und chattering. his toupee being carried off by the squirrels
and cockroaches. and he saw red and he started up a blowtorch
(bwooh). then he welded their bodies together, took an icepick
out of
Ret manilla envelope, stabbed them fifty-seven times. started up
a chainsaw (br-r-r-r-r), cut off dick's ankle. put his foot
right in his mouth and says, 'look's like you put your foot in y
Outh one last time, dickie boy!' then he looked at the
Dead deer at their feet and he picked them up. and he gave the
mommy deer mouth to mouth resucitation, but to no avail. the
mommy deer was dead. and he gave the baby deer mouth to mouth
resucit
And the baby deer came back to life. charles bronsan had tears
in his eyes, i guess 'cause nature had been vindicated. david
coresh was selling barbequed ribs on the side. the mommy deer
still
Ead. and he said：
Mommy deer dead, baby deer alive
Mommy deer dead, baby deer alive
Mommy deer dead, baby deer alive
Mommy deer dead, baby deer alive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
At dick's automotive
3.This Flood
It must have rained two weeks last summer
When the ice cream man cancelled it was such a fuckin' bummer
We were floating down the streets lying naked in a raft
I was honing and practicing my love making craft
I was honing it
And i held ya
When the weather man said he couldn't grant us a reprieve
You were gettin' on my nerves and i wanted you to leave
Well you test me every day you're like a bug up my nose
I swear i'm gonna leave you, but you keep me on my toes
On my toes
Let me hold you
Well you're the one for me i can't leave you
You nasty little bitch i ain't ever gonna free ya
With the lipstick and the passion and the power and the blood
I'm gonna keep you as my hostage in this neverending flood
In this flood
If it rings and it's your mother, then i'll fill it full of
buckshot
If the sun comes up tomorrow, then i guess i'll take your cuffs
off
When you wiggle from the pain, i like the way you twist your
spine
It's special moments like these that let me know that you're
mine
I know you're mine
Let me hold ya
Well you're the one for me i can't leave you
You nasty little bitch i ain't ever gonna free ya
With the lipstick and the passion and the power and the blood
I'm gonna keep you as my hostage in this neverending flood
In this flood
My love is like a fire, i guess you'd call it two-fisted
Some people say i'm sick they don't understand i'm twisted
Don't let the bruises scare your friends
We can cover them with make-up
You know i'll always love you
You'll always be my buttercup
You'll be my buttercup
Let me hold ya
Well you're the one for me i can't leave you
You nasty little bitch i ain't ever gonna free ya
With the lipstick and the passion and the power and the blood
I'm gonna keep you as my hostage in this neverending flood
In this flood
I wanna touch, i wanna tease
In this flood
I wanna tempt ya, i wanna twist
In this flood
4.Skyfuckingline Of Toronto
Skyfuckingline of toronto
Skyfuckingline of toronto
There's a girl out there wants to bonto
Beneath the skyfuckingline of toronto
You can come along with me if you want to
We'll watch the skyfuckingline of toronto
Kick it in lou
One, two, three, four
Skyfuckingline of toronto
Skyfuckingline of toronto
I need a big old vodka clamato
We'll watch the skyfuckingline of toronto
You can come along with me if you want to
We'll watch the skyfuckingline of toronto
Kick it in lou
One, two, three, four
Swing batter
I gotta a sister named jake who thinks she's a man
Shaves half a leg, got a half a suntan
Sells peanuts and cokes for the jays in the stands
On the weekends collecting aluminum cans
She says come along with me if you want to
We'll watch the skyfuckingline of toronto
I gotta a sister named jake who thinks she's a man
Shaves half a leg, got a half a suntan
Sells peanuts and cokes for the jays in the stands
On the weekends collecting aluminum cans
She says come along with me if you want to
We'll watch the skyfuckingline of toronto
5.Sesame Street
Sunny day
Chasing the clouds away
Find my way
To where the air is sweet
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to sesame street
How to get to sesame street
Come and play
Everything's a-ok
Friendly neighbors there
For all to meet
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to sesame street
How to get to sesame street
(get lost)
6.Lockjaw
I look outside the sky is grey
And the clouds are filled with rain
It makes me jealous how it opens up and
I'm stuck inside again
I'm like a sitcom polyester family
Inside my t.v.
I'm the boy in the bubble and you
Can't touch me
I'll never open up
I'm never coming out and
I fear every time when the government calls
I'm absent hiding in my closet
I feel like a news correspondent
Got lockjaw can't tell you that i love you
Got lockjaw can't tell you that i love you
I stand in the mirror and i pull my hair out
I can't control my thoughts
I wonder why my eyes are dry as a desert
My stomach's tied in knots
I'm like a freak show sitting on a sidewalk
My outline drawn in chalk, yeah
I freeze every time i hear the phone ring
I'll never hear you knock
I'll never open up
I'm never coming out and
I fear every time when the government calls
I'm absent hiding in my closet
I feel like a news correspondent
Got lockjaw can't tell you that i love you
Got lockjaw can't tell you that i love you
I thumb through magazines to garner love facts
Cosmo's got seven tips
I pick up the phone and i try to call you
No words just frozen lips, yeah
I send a message, but you know it's always cryptic
No sound on my t.v. yeah
I'm the boy in the bubble and you
Can't touch me
I'll never open up
I'm never coming out and
I fear every time when the government calls
I'm absent hiding in my closet
I feel like a news correspondent
Got lockjaw can't tell you that i love you
Got lockjaw can't tell you that i love you
Got lockjaw (can't tell you that i love you)
Got lockjaw (can't tell you that i love you)
I love you
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